Self Introduction

Dear Professor Blackstone, 


My name is Woon Chao Jian or you could address me as CJ, I am writing this letter to introduce myself to you. I studied marine offshore and technology, specializing in oil and gas, in Ngee Ann Polytechnic. During my time in diploma, I was doing my internship in a shipyard and I got the chance to participate in projects that requires people from all over the world as ship modules are transported into Singapore to be constructed into a ship. When the ship was constructed over a few months, it sparked something in me that this was what led me into having an interest in engineering, meeting new people and the accomplishments after completing a project. Thus, I am now pursuing a further education in Singapore of Technology, Bachelor's in Mechanical Engineering. 


In my view, my communication strength is my friendly traits. I tend to communicate with others with a positive attitude and treat others like how I want others to treat me. When communicating with other people, I tend to keep an open mind to understand where they are coming from. I can foster a good relationship and click well with my superiors and colleagues instantly. For example, during my national service or internship days, I can get along with my superiors and colleagues well enough, which led my friends to point out that I can make friends with others very quickly. But I have a weakness which is that I tend to get nervous when I speak in front of a crowd, whenever I need to present something to a class, I tend to stutter and forget what I need to say, resulting in me having to pause in between my sentences and not sounding professional enough. 


Through this module, I hope to get through the hurdle of presenting in front of a class with less stuttering and more confidence, and to better deliver what I want to present to the audience in an effective and more concise manner to that I can get my idea across the room in a shorter time but in a way that others will understand easily.  
 
Yours Sincerely,  
Woon Chao Jian 


Revised on 23 November 2023.

Comments

  1. Haikal10 September 2023 at 01:51

    Hi CJ, this is a well-written letter. I like how you share your passion for engineering that was sparked during your internship in the shipyard. Your strength and weakness were explained in a clear and concise manner as well. However, I would like you to know what differentiates you from the rest.

    ReplyDelete
  2. DHTING10 September 2023 at 09:33


    Great letter overall. Can see that you have used PEEL for it. Efforts made to share your internship experiences and what you have look forward to make improvements from this module

    ReplyDelete
  3. Brad Blackstone15 September 2023 at 20:25

    Thank you, CJ, for this well focused and highly detailed letter. You cover all the assignment points completely and yet concisely. I'm especially interested in how your internship at the shipyard impacted your evolving interest as well as your educational goals.

    You also do a fine job discussing your comm skills and your goals for the module. In etrms of language use, tere are a few areas that you need to consider:

    1. punctuation/sentence structure
    -- My name is Woon Chao Jian, or you could address me as CJ, I am writing this letter to introduce myself to you. > (comma splice) ?
    -- ....click well with my superiors and colleagues instantly, for example, .... > (comma splice)
    -- But I have a weakness which is that I tend to get nervous when I speak in front of a crowd, whenever I need to present something to a class, I tend to stutter and forget what I need to say. > ?
    -- To say that I can get my idea across the room in a shorter time but in a way that others will understand easily. > (sentence fragment)

    2. use of caps
    -- I studied Marine Offshore and Technology, specializing in Oil and Gas. > (Are these caps needed?) ?
    -- bachelor's in mechanical engineering. > Bachelor's in Mechanical Engineering.

    3. word use
    -- my polytechnic intern > ?

    4. subject-verb agreement
    -- ...the chance to work in projects that requires people.... > ?

    Let's work on these. I look forward to learning more about yout his term.

    Cheers,

    Brad

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. CJ24 September 2023 at 21:19

      Thanks for the constructive feedback Prof! Will make the amendment soon

      Delete

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